If I had written this blog post at 4:30 a.m. like I had originally considered, it would have a very different tone. As fellow writer Chuck Wendig wrote, last night, the American people “pressed the self-destruct button.” Emily Dickenson called hope “the thing with feathers,” and for a long while this morning, I feared it had flown away for good.
I’ve had my tears, my time of grief and not being able to see a way forward. Hope was just resting, making a soft bed for me while I grieved the future I had hoped for. Then I saw a few messages online that reminded me of something very important: just because things didn’t go the way I wanted and the future may well be dark, it doesn’t mean giving up. In fact, fighting is more important than ever. As the song Savage Daughter declares, “I will not lower my voice.”
Please know that I am not dismissing anyone’s experience or burying my head in the sand. I see what is coming—I believe the word shitshow has been used by multiple sources—but I am choosing to not let it overwhelm me. I know I will have my days of “WTF is going on and how did we get here?” There will still be tears. But for my own sanity, I am reminding myself—and all of you—that it is always darkest before the dawn.
Countries have been here before, and people, especially women, have endured. And they kept fighting. They took their anger and their grief and channeled it into something productive for society. If it wasn’t for the very feelings many of us are feeling today, we wouldn’t have the Missouri Woman Suffrage Association, which was the (post-Civil War) beginning of the movement that eventually led to the 19th Amendment.
I realize what I am about to say might sound delusional and I am purposefully not addressing many of the political landmines that we will be facing (I just don’t have it in me to do that), but we need to be reminded that there is still hope and there are things we can do.
- They take away our rights? “Then by God we take them back.” (To quote Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood.) Women fought for 75 years to gain the right to vote. I bet they felt a lot like we do today every time their measure was put on the ballot and lost. But just like they kept on until times finally changed, so will we.
- They try to silence us? We shout louder than ever. Personally, I’m going to make sure I’m active in the South Bend League of Women Voters just like I was in St. Louis. I want to get involved in movements aimed at abolishing the electoral college and passing the Equal Rights Act (snowball’s chance in hell over the next four years, but we’ve been at this since the 1920s, so lets keep going!)
- They show hatred to different groups? We show them what love and compassion are. I’m going to be more active in my local LGBTQIA+ community and make a point to educate myself on diversity issues.
- They threaten the future of democracy? We continue to vote in elections big and small for as long as we can. We commit ourselves to learning so we know how to rebel properly. Read Ron Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton to learn how and why our country was built the way it was. Educate yourself on the legal and judicial processes. And never forget that this is OUR republic. They are supposed to represent us and they are not (at least not all of us). The more we can get involved, the better.
And so on and so forth. Culture seems to swing on a pendulum and right now we are in the ultra-conservative arc. This seems to be true in many countries, not just the United States. Yes, damage can, and likely will be done, in the next four years. But eventually they will pass and we will be here. Will our country look the same? No, there is no way it can. Will it self-destruct as Chuck fears? Maybe. People I love have been saying for decades that we’re headed toward another Civil War, and that may well happen. But then again, we also might have another mismanaged pandemic and not be here to see what happens. I’m not going to let mights and maybes ruin whatever time I have left.
Does this mean I’m not scared? Heck no. I’m worried about the environment, the future of contraception and abortion rights (although many states have passed measures securing those rights) and the deportation of immigrants and hate crimes and all of the above. But I have determined I will not let it cripple me like it attempted to do when I first heard the news.
When I looked to the future at 4:30 this morning, all I saw was bleakness. I thought, “Boy am I glad I am not having kids. But I feel sorry for my nieces and all the other littles who will inherit this mess. And there go my plans to write full time. Better keep that day job.” I asked myself why I should bother to write about women in history when people are still burning books, fewer people than ever read, and women are openly targets of hatred? Will there even be a publishing industry in four years? Will women be forced to not read like in The Handmaid’s Tale?
But then I realized that just by writing, I am defying them. Every name I can put back in the historical record is a thorn in their side that they will have to remove. Every book I publish is another one that while they can attempt to ban it, is out there for people to read. And should the publishing industry be negatively affected, they can’t stop self-publishing. Technically, people have been doing that for hundreds of years.
We all have to find joy where we can. I am choosing to find it by reminding myself that by-and-large, daily life will stay the same, at least for a while. I’m finding joy in my husband (Yeah, I got married! More on that in another post), my cats, the beauty of late autumn and in my own creativity. Love, creativity and kindness are powerful forces that can, have and will change the world. Remember that.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat my emotional support doughnut, drink some water, put on some red lipstick and kick this day in the ass. Who’s with me?